The mother of the bride has been slammed after she threatened to pull the funding for her daughter's wedding if she could not invite more than a dozen guests to the nuptials.
In a viral post uploaded to Reddit's Am I The ******* page, which can be seen here, user VastGrapefruit7224 explained she was partly funding her daughter's wedding and wanted to invite 13 guests of her own to the nuptials.
The Reddit user, 68, said she saw no issue with inviting guests as her daughter is an introvert and would possibly not be able to fill up the number of places for her half of the wedding invites. She then seemed surprised this caused some wedding drama.
"My daughter has said that this is not how it normally works and that she and her fiancée should have first priority in who comes and the spots should be dedicated to her fiancée's friends before mine if there are limited seats," the Reddit user said.
"She also said that 'this is their wedding and not my class of 74 reunion.' But he and his family are not financially contributing at all. It will reflect poorly on me if I don't invite my and my husband's people. She's refusing to see my side and says that her fiancée being limited in his guests and his parents only being allowed to invite two people because they aren't in a place to contribute is unfair.
"If I am not allowed to throw this up to my standard, I do not want my name on it. They can do what they want, but I have half a mind to pull my money from the equation if they insist on not allowing who I want to be there."
Newsweek has contacted VastGrapefruit7224 for comment via Reddit.
Wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk Zoe Burke, said the bride's mother could consider an alternative by inviting guests to drinks in the evening after the wedding itself.
"To have the parents of the bride host and pay for the wedding is a very traditional approach that isn't all that common in Western weddings today, which is why I assume there is confusion over the etiquette," she told Newsweek.
"Traditionally, those hosting the wedding would have a say over the guest list, but times have changed and a wedding is no longer the 'society event' it once was. In this case, I believe the friends of the couple should take precedence over the parents' friends, but there are ways to compromise.
"The mother of the bride could be inspired by the British approach and explore whether she could invite her guests for drinks in the evening. If that's not possible, she could always host a small reception at a later date with the bride and groom as guests of honor—they could look at wedding photos or the video, and toast with champagne and cake.
"Ultimately, the wedding day is about the couple, and in this day and age, offering to pay for the wedding should be done only as a gift, not with strings attached that could compromise the couple's enjoyment of their big day."
The post has attracted more than 2,300 upvotes and an estimated 3,900 comments since it was shared on the Reddit page.
Many of those who commented on the post slammed the poster over wanting to invite so many people to the wedding and firmly sided with the daughter.
Bureacratic_****, whose comment was upvoted more than 9,200 times, said: "They (the bride and groom) want to invite people who they feel they are closer with and your split down the middle rule seems flawed in that your daughter doesn't want as many guests.
"Pull out funding it if you can't reconcile the idea of giving your daughter the day she deserves, but be prepared to hate the guest list even more and face the possibility of your own exclusion.
"Your daughter and future son-in-law are not being unreasonable or wedding-zillas in their request for people they care about to be present at their wedding. You are being unreasonable for wanting your friends there in lieu of theirs. It's not about you."
ThrowRA-Scale8960, whose comment was upvoted about 2,300 times, added: "It would be one thing if OP [original poster] wanted to invite three to four people. [But] 13 extra people?"
Exciting-Froyo3825 posted: "I had a wedding the size of OP's daughter. I couldn't imagine inviting that many people simply because they were mom's friends."
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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